Triple A's

Relationships can be complicated. But that's not what you want in a relationship. In fact the words complex and relationship should never be in a relationship themselves. The best relationships should be easy and evolve naturally. Essentially, there are three things that healthy individuals need from a growing and thriving relationship: Affection, Attention and Affirmation.

Affection
People were made to be touched, hugged, squeezed, etc. In addition to all the drug like hormones that get released when we are touched by someone we love, affection just makes us feel good. But there's a caveat. Relationships become complex and complicated when there is inappropriate affection. Don't get affectionate with someone who is not your spouse. There, if everyone listened to this, the amount of "complicated" relationships would be reduced by over 50 percent. Make sure you are intentional about your affection. It doesn't matter if you don't "feel" like giving your spouse a hug or a kiss. Do it anyway. Just saying "I love you" but withholding affection is like a cloudy day to a plant. It looks like they are about to get watered but they never get the rain they need to grow. Affection is vital and doesn't cost you a thing, why withhold it from your spouse?

Attention
I know sometimes your mate says and does the most uninteresting things. Things that make you yawn til you tear up. But, you love this person and this person loves the stuff that makes you yawn. Part of a healthy relationship is coming out of yourself and your individual likes to see the world through their eyes, even if it's just for a few moments a day. There's no need to lose your identity and forsake all your own interests, but taking the time to listen, really listen to your spouse will make them feel loved and appreciated. So, the next time your husband wants to reel off the latest sports stats, at least celebrate the fact that his team is doing well. (You can go watch the Food Network later)

Admiration
You may not be married to a millionaire, or a doctor, but you chose to say 'I do' for a reason. There is something admirable about your spouse and you need to take the time to mention that on the regular. I don't care if the whole world doesn't know who I am or what I'm capable of, but I sure do want my spouse to find me attractive, and not just physically. After all, no one should know you better than your spouse. Don't dwell on the imperfections, celebrate your spouse's positive traits. This will encourage them to continue doing them. There's nothing so deflating or demoralizing as constant criticism. We expect that from the outside world, but at home we need a safe haven. Ultimately, giving constant affection, attention and admiration to your spouse will provide them with a fourth 'A,' affirmation. One of the reasons we get involved with another person is to receive affirmation. It really is simple to affirm your spouse, remember to give them triple A's.